Two Steps Back

The hardest part of living an authentic life is that you constantly have the feeling that you are responsible for providing proof to others that you are not crazy. That your actions are having a purpose, aligned with the good. That you are not repeating yourself ceaselessly and expecting a different result each time.

That you are not causing more suffering than needed. (know the dog sitting on a nail thing, except people are not dogs)

Even if it appears that you run the same scenario, the same simulation, you do change certain parameters, that will give you a different result.

And one of these parameters is the fact that, today is a different day than yesterday. Time itself is the parameter and the inherent degradation of life, as in, cells reproduce, cells live, cells die. But every cell needs energy to live. Also today, also tomorrow.

And sometimes we are put in places where, we have to destroy something first, in order to get that energy.

The most misunderstood part about being mentally stable is that you have to learn how to be unstable in order to appear stable on the outside. Embrace your wave of uniqueness. A stable and reliable system is the one that is able to provide a status report at any given time even if that status is oscillating from -♾️ to +♾️. A stable and reliable system is the one that shuts down when it encounters a critical error.

And the fact that it shuts down, doesn’t make it unstable, it actually makes it reliable. Real. Absolute truth. I’m done. I’m not investing in your inefficient ways of doing things anymore. And if that means I have to travel to the other side of the globe or literally have contact with space, to find a better way, to realise that humans cannot be programmed to give you a status report if you don’t give anything back. The machinery of what is called objective reality, is dead. Because as humans, we got too comfortable with it running forever and ever and we didn’t care enough to charge it. Now everyone can do whatever they want with it. And you can’t stop it. You can only adapt.